Overcoming Loneliness

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| Talking with God series |

• Does God Still Speak?
• Learning God’s Voice
• Overcoming Loneliness

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Friendship with God

Have you ever felt alone? The fear of being alone certainly ranks among our deepest and most meaningful. But the word “alone” doesn’t fully describe it; after all, we can be surrounded by people, even friends and family, and still feel alone. I long to feel a true connection where I’m loved even when I’m unlovable, where I can share every unbecoming thought without fear of judgment but assured of my unreserved acceptance. While I treasure my closest friendship (Monica), we are each limited in patience and grace, and we are both affected by the pain that we feel. We are, after all, only human.

So, where does this longing find its fulfillment? Who among us is capable of this kind of love? A perfect love where we don’t have to hide and don’t have to be afraid. While none of us are able, God’s love for us is described just so: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” (1 John 4:18) While God’s love is indeed able, it often doesn’t feel easily accessible. While I know that He loves me, in my daily comings-and-goings I don’t generally engage with His love. As a result, it often feels like a detached rational notion rather than a real tangible relationship. Is this an inevitable reality of life, or is it possible to truly, literally be close friends with God?

My favorite verse in the Bible describes how literal this was for Moses: “The Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” (Exodus 33:11) Moses’ friendship with God consisted of the same thing that all friendships consist of: an open-ended conversation. In this series we’ve explored whether God still speaks and how we learn to recognize His voice, but what do we do with this information? How can we start and maintain an open dialogue with Him? What does that look like?

Being Known: Comfort

Perhaps my favorite illustrations of this kind of dialogue comes from the story where two of Jesus’ followers were on their way to a village named Emmaus after His death. They were talking about everything that had happened: Jesus’ arrest and crucifixion and that His body was now missing. When Jesus himself drew near to them (though they didn’t recognize Him), He asked what they were discussing. Being surprised that He didn’t know, they responded, “Are you the only visitor to Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened here in these days?” (Luke 24:18) Jesus’ response was simply “What things?” (Luke 24:19).

Now Jesus obviously knew what had happened; in fact, He was at the center of it. Nevertheless, He wanted to listen. He wanted to let them express what they were experiencing.[1] Any counselor can tell you the benefits of simply talking about it, getting it off your chest. So often though, because of fear and shame, we hold back what’s really bothering us because we don’t know how the other person will react. We often edit our speech to make sure we still have their approval at the end of the conversation, but God is the one person where we don’t have to be afraid.

Doesn’t He already know what we’re going through? So, why would we tell Him something He already knows? Do we need to tell Him? While He doesn’t need us to tell Him what we’re going through (He already knows), we need to tell Him what we’re going through, we need to get it off our chest.  While God is most certainly aware of what you are going through and how you feel, that doesn’t change the fact that He wants to listen. Life can be traumatic, and hardship is in no short supply for any of us. Even in good times, things still bother us. God has extended an open invitation for you to talk about it, asking you plainly, even now, “What things?”

Knowing God: Counsel

There’s another reason that people talk with friends and counselors: to ask the question, more generally, “What do I do with this?” Whether it’s a problem, an opportunity, or simply our own emotions, it can be helpful to get some feedback on how to respond to what’s happening. A conversation is, after all, both talking and listening. All too often, we shortchange ourselves in prayer, using it as a platform for a monologue rather than the dialogue it is intended to be.

Whenever the two disciples on their way to Emmaus allowed Jesus to respond, they gained profound insight into God’s heart and were nothing short of inspired anew by the Scripture. So much so that after hearing Him talk, they didn’t want Him to leave: “they urged him strongly” to stay with them (Luke 24:29). After He did depart, they described the encounter by saying, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” (Luke 24:32) It’s these encounters that produce meaningful change in our lives by inspiring us to be more like Him as we learn more about Him. Just like the disciples on the road, if we recognize and receive His word, it does something inside us. It changes us; it produces life in us.

God is inviting you to have a conversation. Tell Him what you’re thinking, what’s bothering you, what you’re going through. He wants to listen. Also, don’t be afraid to listen for His voice and work to recognize if He is speaking to you. Ask Him for help in recognizing His voice. God is the friend you’ve been looking for.

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[1] I want to give credit to a sermon I heard by Josh Morris at Gateway Church where I first heard this passage in Luke 24 explained with this emphasis.